Our pets can take any form – from feathered to furry, scaly to finned. No matter if they have four paws or two wings, our pets play diverse and important roles in our lives. Whether they are loyal companions, service animals, or emotional support beings, the bond between humans and pets is like no other.
That’s why the loss of our beloved companion is often one of the most profoundly emotional and impactful experiences for many of us.
According to the VCA Canadian Animal Hospital, grief responses can range from the physical symptoms of aches, pains, exhaustion, and nausea, to emotional symptoms including sadness, guilt, anger, anxiety, and loneliness.
For some of us, we may experience a sense of relief or gratitude, followed by immense emotional overwhelm. The reality is that grief may seem incomprehensible when we’re immersed in its depths.
Here to shed light on the complexities of pet loss, we aim to guide you through this emotional journey with a sense of hope, compassion, and acceptance.
Oftentimes, the loss of a pet can involve a ‘preparation phase’, in a sense. In anticipatory grief, pet caregivers experience a raw and emotional process of mourning for the impending loss of their animals.
Similar to anticipatory grief that is experienced throughout caring for a loved one, this grief extends to pet owners as they care for an aging pet, those with chronic health issues, or animals who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
The caregiver who is in the role of looking after a pet in the final stages of life can be put under an immense amount of emotional stress. Oftentimes, individuals overlook their own stress, focusing primarily on their pet’s needs throughout their final days or months.
Neglecting our own self-care can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue, and greatly impact our well-being.
Remember that it’s never selfish to take care of your mind and body while grieving. Self-care is shown to contribute to better emotional processing, mood enhancement, increased energy, and decreased stress levels.
It is also important to acknowledge a less apparent aspect of grief for pet caregivers known as ambiguous grief. This emotional challenge extends beyond the loss of a pet to include fostering and rehoming situations as well as when a treasured pet goes missing.
The below strategies may help to navigate the complex emotions that come from ambiguous grief:
After a long and loving life with our beloved pets, we often encounter the complex and emotional decision of euthanasia.
Despite being a prevalent and compassionate practice, euthanasia has the potential to elicit conflicting emotions. Even though we understand the necessity of ending our pet’s suffering, being given the decision can cause us to ponder the question “Is now the right time?”, “Should we wait another week?”, or “Am I making the right decision?”.
For this reason, it’s common to experience a deep sense of guilt, sorrow, and responsibility for having to be the one to make the choice.
In the end, when our pet’s quality of life is compromised either by illness or suffering, opting for euthanasia becomes a selfless decision that prioritizes their comfort and well-being. It becomes a profound act of love.
Our pets cannot decide for themselves. As their caregivers, we are capable of providing them with a dignified departure, sparing them from unnecessary pain.
Coming to terms with this decision is in no way simple.
That being said, it can be meaningful, both for you and your pet, to create a memorable last day. Not only can it help honour the special bond you share, but it’s also a way to show your pet that they are so deeply loved by you.
Make a plan to incorporate some of their favourite things to do and eat on this day. This may involve a leisurely walk around the block where they can take in all the smells of the neighbourhood, an incredible spread of foods they adore, or perhaps even a full day cuddled up on the couch next to you.
When it comes time to take your pet to the vet, it’s also helpful to consider being with them in their last moments – providing comfort and companionship as they move on from this life.
Experiencing the loss of a pet is a unique emotional process that affects everyone involved in the pet's life.
Childhood is a particularly sensitive age group that may experience grief in their own, unique way.
This may be a child’s first experience of grief, and it’s important to help your child through the process of saying goodbye to a beloved family pet. Though they may not fully understand the finality of the loss, providing a gentle, clear, and age-appropriate explanation while also allowing space for emotional expression can help them along their grieving journey.
It's equally crucial to support older individuals in dealing with the loss of their cherished companions. For many of these individuals, saying goodbye to their pet is especially difficult as it may be their only companion in life.
This profound loss can bring about a range of emotions and requires compassionate support, patience, and understanding. Staying connected to our loved ones throughout their grieving process, ensuring they receive the care and attention they need is imperative for their well-being.
In some cases, individuals may experience the unique challenges of losing their service animal. This type of loss extends beyond the emotional connection, offering support to the practical and professional aspects of their life, too.
Offering support in navigating these practical challenges, such as finding alternative solutions for their specific needs, can be an essential part of helping them through this difficult time.
Finding meaningful ways to memorialize a lost pet can be a profoundly helpful step in the grieving process.
Though it may initially seem challenging, finding ways to remember our pets may offer us a chance to feel closer to them at heart.
Ways of memorializing pets may include planting a tree in their memory, turning their food dish into a planter, or purchasing a customized painting or piece of jewelry that keeps their memory imprinted in our daily lives.
Following this, it’s also important to take time to focus on yourself. Coping with pet loss can be emotionally exhausting. Finding ways to support yourself through these times is essential for your ability to move forward.
Consider looking for support through therapy.
Therapy can help individuals navigate the various stages of grief, offering coping strategies tailored to them along the way. At On Your Mind Counselling, we offer a 30-minute complimentary consultation to ensure a good fit and ask any questions you may have.
The bond we share with our pets is truly extraordinary. With this, comes a loss that can feel Earth-shattering.
Remember that healing is a personal journey. Embrace the journey by allowing yourself to grieve in the way you feel is necessary.
To conclude, we wish to leave you with a beautiful poem that many find comforting in their time of loss, called The Rainbow Bridge Poem.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in a joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together…
– Author unknown
Our thoughts are with you during the crossing of your pets to the Rainbow Bridge.
Written by Laura Anderson BA, MA, MSW, RSW
